Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Two Dimensional 'Cube'

I don’t know what I want to write about today. I’m having one of those days where I’m just extremely unsure of myself right now. And it’s only what? Three days into that damned Snowflake Method Outline thingie and I’m already getting extremely annoyed with it. Maybe it’s for people who have absolutely no idea what they want to write about because it’s meticulous to the point where it’s verging on redundant.

So I finished the outline. I’m doing as much as I feel I needed to do—and I’m done. Now I realize why I can’t follow the concept of an outline—it’s because I just can’t follow someone else’s idea of structure. I just—write. And yeah, it gave me a good start, but that’s all I need.

I’m the kid who has an idea of how to ride the bike. Just give me a helmet and a steadying push and I won’t even come back—I’ll go faster than a speeding bullet. Superman has nothing on me.

I have the three main characters mapped out with detail and their own story lines and that’s all I need. I was reading the instructions on how to do the outline and it felt like I was just filling in what I was supposed to fill in just to get to the next part. And then the author of the outline says—and I’m paraphrasing and exaggerating now, “Now this is the fun part…you get to spend a day and half writing the same thing again…even more. Because you’re a moron and I enjoy torturing you.”

I mean yeah, the idea is good. The concept is…decent. But for a writer like me, it only works in theory. If I don’t start writing, I’m going to lose the moment—and I’m already getting annoyed with it and myself. It’s like (for girls at least) you get those pre-menstrual cramps and you KNOW you’re about to get your period but you keep praying for another day of freedom. If you’re not a female, you are SO not going to understand that analogy.

So I’m done with the outline for a while and I’m just going to write it now. And even with that, I’m going to wait a day or two before I begin to right. I can’t believe I put myself through that AGAIN. Outlines KILL my desire completely. I’m meticulous when it comes to my writing anyhow—so doing one seems obsolete. Oh well…it’s outside of the box for me. I’ll just come along and sweep the mess into a neat little square and call it my two dimensional ‘cube

That being said, I did a search yesterday for a few writing contests, and there’s one being given by Writer’s Digest which happens to be a short story contest. I haven’t entered many…and the last one I entered, I was in eighth grade and I won second place. So I’m considering entering, even if there is an application fee (I’m poor, but I think I may have a shot). I realized that I already have an idea in my head and I’m more excited about that than actually sitting down and starting this book.

I don’t know—today, for some reason I’m feeling very ridiculous and I don’t like it at all. I can’t believe I let a stupid little outline shake my confidence like that.

Stupid snowflake.