Baby Rage

Alright, so this particular entry has nothing to do with writing. But I had the funniest conversation with my friend as she helped me whore myself--I mean, network myself around the in-tar-nets.




Now, it has already been established that I have a daughter, and at only 16 months old, she is sufficiently ebil and angry randomly.





See exhibit A.
She looks like one of those Japanese Animation characters. Believe it or not, she was screaming 'I keel you mom!' (Alright, that's a total lie, she wasn't--she was just screaming to release her baby rage.)

Anyhow, my Izzy has nothing on my friend's five year old that attempted to steal a car. Oh yes...yes she did--and the conversation goes like...this:

her says:
I really did catch her doing that.
her says:
she stole my sunglasses, kaytlin's cell, the car keys and some money
her says:
she was heading out
me says:
-is laughing so unbelievably hard right now-

her says:
You have no idea. I just moved- and I found a box with a toy nerf gun, a pirate sword, plastic ninja stars, rope, and duct tape
her says:
and I todl her I found it
her says:
And you know what she said?

her says:
She raised one eye brow and looked at me and said "You are not supposed to touch the box"
me says:
-fucking..dies-
her says:
THE BOX
her says:
alicia- my kid has A BOX
her says:
and it's full of kid weapons
me says:
And she's..how old?
her says:
and she is always talking about how someday we will all be part of her minion army
her says:
5. she just turned 5.
her says:
she had 85 bucks in cash
her says:
you think she's playing, i'm telling ya'll, i have birthed evil and she is coming for you.
me says:
She's Lara Croft gone terribly short and terribly bad.
her says:
She doesn't really want to do bad things..
her says:
She just wants to do things HER way.
her says:
Her way isn't that bad, it's actually kinda great, but for fucks sake, I think she'd eat Samuel Jackson to get there.
me says:
It's just that if you try to stop her...she'll kill you.
her says:
That's what I'm saying..
her says:
That's what I'm saying..
her says:
Oh and it had a plastic bow and arrow
her says:
I cant forget that. Because she counted the bows.
her says:
Like each had a purpose.
her says:
She can't even tie her shoes.
me says:
Congratulations, you just gave me a new blog entry
her says:LMAO

Thank heaven for little girls? I think NOT.