Freelancing

I had every intention of working on the novel tonight and that just didn't happen. As mentioned in another post, I do freelance article writing for a few different individuals for a little extra money--and I had a new contract start tonight that I wanted to get a move on. Now I am dead tired with MS Word open and debating on whether to close it and try again tomorrow or see what I can pound our for about an hour. If this were five years ago, I would have pulled an all nighter so to speak and slept most of the day. But with two children and a mountain of responsibilities, I need the sleep. I am still trying to figure how to integrate freelancing, school work (I have an essay due on Sunday and a Chronic Illness presentation due on Saturaday) and my serious writing. It seems to me that I am going to have to suck it up and make like...a schedule or something? And then like--stick to it? So, yeah, we'll see how that goes. I could say something really bland like 'the writing is picking up'...but that sounds so bland and uninteresting as if it is an afterthought when in truth I am obsessed by writing. I have two obsessions--and even the one that should be more important has taken a back burner to my writing. I am so fucking (can I say 'fucking' on Blogger?) excited about it I can barely contain myself. I spent the last few days trying to outline--like seriously trying to outline before I said screw it. Maybe I'll try it later on in the revising process or whatever. But it just isn't working for me right now and I have been talking myself into it for weeks. There are all these different complicated formats to use and I feel like a retarded monkey scratching my head trying to figure out what it all means. But I am writing. I am writing more than I have in the past three years. I write everyday because I have to for all the other projects I have going on. I never thought I would freelance seriously with the article writing, but it feels good because it allows me to perfect my craft and the articles that have been submitted have gotten really great feedback--every last one of them, so that makes me feel good. I haven't lost my touch. I wish I had some really awesome advice to impart on folks bored enough to read this far--but I don't. I'm not one of those bloggers with tips and shit on how to be the awesomest awesome writer. Honestly, I couldn't be bothered enough to do all that unless I thought people really cared what I had to say about it. I will say that this is not easy--and I was stupid for thinking it would be easy because I do know how to write. Life has sprung 1001 one different things in my world at various points and I'm just now learning how to work around it. It's 12:44 am est and I have absolutely nothing else to say.