Monday, September 14, 2009

Bubble Guts

(I know, the title. Don't ask. You so don't want to know.)

Sleep has been elusive for the past two weeks. I fell asleep on the bus this morning on my way to class and nearly missed my stop. You don't know how badly I want to go home, pull the blankets over my head and go to sleep.

Then I remember, I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm a gal with a little gal and I'm just not going to get the sleep I want. her dad came home from jail Friday. Showed up at my door with his mother, and I made up a lie as to why they couldn't take her. I ended up taking her over there for a few hours last weekend, but I didn't leave her alone. His mother has yet another new boyfriend--with a hairy belly.

I think this weekend drained me. I have finals coming up this week and then the first mod is over and done with. I'm passing with flying colors though I haven't been particularly interested in writing. I'm really taking my friend Crystal's advice and writing when I have to...not because I have a deadline.

I'm in this weird place right now that when I get home and put on Peter Pan for Israel, I sit on the couch and basically zone out. Eventually I'll do the dishes or cook, but I zone for at least an hour. Trust me, I know I could be writing, but for me, it just doesn't happen like that. It's a mix of apathy and lethargy.

Then again, eating a honey bun and barbeque chips for breakfast doesn't really have the greatest effect on energy...or your stomach for that matter.


Aubrie said...

mmmm I love honey buns...hang in there, the writing will come back to you.

Sun Up said...

I certainly hope so...oh...who am I kidding..I know it will. I guess I just needed a bit of a break. I do want another honey bun badly though.

Lady Glamis said...

I zone more often than I write. Writing is something I work really hard at, and if I'm feeling lethargic and depressed I know nothing good is going to come out of me.

BBQ chips sound so good right now, even if they're not good for you. Hah!

Eliza said...

I think zoning can actually be beneficial... I know when I come home from work, there has to be at least an hour of zoning before anything productive can happen. My plea is that it lets my brain settle, calm, and clear out. Or, it could be that you just need some time even beyond that initial zoning, maybe a week or so to just let life settle.