Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm alive...and waiting

I really hate taking any sort of medication for...anything. Like I mentioned, I have strep throat and a bit of a fever so ... I gave in and got the meds the doctor prescribed and I feel almost like myself again.

I haven't written in like, two days though. I haven't thought once about the story I was doing the outline for. I keep thinking about this short story and--I don't know really. I think my brain doesn't stay on anything for any certain amount of time. I'm always falling in love with something different. I can tell you that I have about 100 different story ideas floating around in my head at any given time.

I've been saying over and over for the past few days now, that I seem more able to connect with literary fiction. I suppose this is why the short story was such and easy thing to write. And then I ended up going way over 4000 words--which I had to chop up.

The whole business of writing seems to be a very exact science and I've never been very good at being exact--or scientific.

I have to learn how to do all that other stuff that comes along with trying to get published. I wrote a query letter once, and it got Uber rejected--which is something I can laugh at now because I didn't even know what genre I was writing or the audience I was trying to reach.

I'm not going to lie, I am really used to just writing and blowing people away and resting on that. Now I have to do things like...be organized *cringe* re-read and re-analyze every single word to see if it's a better way to put something, make sure I don't sound repetitive, make sure my grammar is correct--and last but not least, make sure that whoever I'm querying thinks my story is as awesome as I think it is.

This is so...unbelievably frusterating. I sit and I read other blogs by authors or other writers and I try to figure out what I'm missing.

I still feel like I'm not doing enough. Or maybe I'm doing too much and wanting too much in too short of a time period.

This part of it...really isn't all that fun.